


What the future has in store

by nverenders



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Alternate Universe - Time Travel, M/M, Time Travel, it's p much the whole plot, there's not much direct ryan/brendon but it's talked about
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-13
Updated: 2015-07-13
Packaged: 2018-04-09 04:24:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4333763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nverenders/pseuds/nverenders
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Ryan woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water, he didn't expect there to be another one of him (only about 10 years older) sitting in the living room. But unexpected things happen all the time, as Ryan learns that night.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What the future has in store

**Author's Note:**

> The idea for this was taken from here: http://preciadology.tumblr.com/post/119160324996/preciadology-preciadology-ryden-fic-idea

When Ryan opened his eyes, everything was still dark. He could feel Brendon's arm on his torso and his warm breath on his neck. Their legs were tangled and Ryan had to try really hard not to wake Brendon trying to get out of the bed. When he did, he missed the warmth of Brendon's body and the touch of his skin but his mouth was dry and he had to drink something. He stumbled to the main room and opened the fridge, blinking at the light. He took out the bottle of water and took a long swig. God, he was so thirsty, no wonder he woke up. He put the bottle back in the same place and closed the fridge and started making his way back into the bedroom when he heard a shuffling noise from the living area of the main room. He stopped in his tracks, feeling his heart thump loudly. Was someone there? He gulped and waited for a few excruciatingly long seconds. When nothing happened, he decided to write it off as just a dash of wind and nothing to worry about.  
But then, there was a voice. And it wasn't coming from the bedroom.  
"Ryan," the voice whispered.  
Fear washed over Ryan's entire body. Somebody was here after all and they knew his name. Ryan was freaking out on the inside but was too paralyzed with fear to even move.  
There was a bit more shuffling and then Ryan saw a silhouette of a tall man. He knew he should probably scream and wake Brendon and run the fuck away or call the police or something but he just couldn't. The silhouette walked to the side of the room and Ryan watched him with a mixture of fear and anticipation, waiting for the guy to pull out a knife from somewhere and stab him.  
Instead, the man turned on the light switch and Ryan had to blink, blind for a few seconds again.  
The man standing before him was strange to say at least. There wasn't anything that was particularly weird about him but Ryan got an odd feeling from looking at him. He's never seen the guy before in his life, he was sure, yet he knew Ryan's name and he just looked familiar.  
He was a bit taller and broader than Ryan and he was wearing a leather jacket along with a pair of blue jeans. His hair was short and up in a quiff and his face... his face looked exactly like Ryan's, only older-looking and with a beard.  
"What the-?" Ryan breathed out.  
He must be out of his mind. This was probably some sick hallucination or a dream. Ryan immediately pressed two fingers against the palm of his other hand but they didn't go through. He was awake.  
"Ryan," the man said again. He smiled slightly, but it looked sad. Ryan knew that smile because it was his smile. The man looked around the apartment with the same smile, shaking his head.  
"What the fuck," Ryan now completed the phrase but not as a question. He had about a million questions but he simply couldn't get himself to speak. Who was this man? How did he get into the apartment? How did he know his name? Why did he look like him? Like, exactly like him.  
"I should probably introduce myself," the man said and his voice freaked Ryan out even more. It sounded... well, like his voice, only deeper.  
"How did you get into my apartment?" Ryan blurted out before the man could speak again but he just shook his head in response.  
"One thing at a time," he said in the end. "Um, you might want to sit down," he added awkwardly.  
Ryan stared in disbelief. What the fuck.  
When he didn't move for a few seconds, the man walked over to the kitchen table and sat down. Ryan didn't follow him, just continued to stare at him.  
"Wow, this is... so much harder than I thought it would be" he chuckled dryly, staring at the ceiling.  
Ryan was still staring, confused and with scowl on his face.  
"Alright, whatever," the man gave up. "This is going to sound... crazy and bizarre and you might not believe me but you've got to. I'm Ryan. As in, Ryan Ross. As in, you. I'm you. I mean, you're me but from 10 years ago. You're- this is the past and you're me, but from the past. Or, from your point of view, I'm you from the future. Who came back into the past -your present- to talk to you"  
Ryan was staring at the man- himself? Future Ryan? - and tried to process what he's just heard. Did he believe it? Well, one thing was certain, it really did sound crazy. But was it real? Was that actually Ryan Ross of the future? Was he talking to his future self? Or was it some crazy relative with a fucked up sense of humor?  
"This is a dream," Ryan said, trying to convince himself more than anything even though he did a reality check and he knew it wasn't.  
Future Ryan (or at least the guy who claimed to be Future Ryan) didn't say anything. There were a few seconds of silence until Ryan spoke up again.  
"Prove it. That you're me. Prove it."  
Future Ryan bit his lip. Then, he put his hand in one of the pockets of his leather jacket and dug for a bit. First, he took out a box of bubble gum and put it on the table. He dug some more until he took out his ID.  
"Here," he said. "If that's not enough, you can ask me something. Anything. Something only you know."  
Ryan studied the ID. It was him, everything about him that goes on an ID. He let out a shaky breath he didn't notice he was holding and handed the ID back to Future Ryan.  
He put it back without a word and watched his own face from 10 years ago.  
"You believe me now?" He asked and Ryan nodded, looking at the floor.  
This is so fucked up, thought Ryan. He picked up his gaze and studied Future Ryan again, this time more carefully. The similarity was undeniable. Ryan spent a few seconds staring at Future Ryan's hands- his hands, but a bit more worn out. They had the same bony structure and long fingers Brendon loved so much. God, Brendon would think this was so cool. Ryan didn't think it was cool. It was making him slightly nauseous and it gave him a slight headache too. He diverted his attention back to Future Ryan's appearance. He was mildly impressed with the beard, he wasn't going to lie, but he also didn't think it looked very good on him. The clothes though, he didn't get them. Okay yes, he looked kind of cool but it was so weird because Ryan would never wear it. And that haircut- it was so strange and definitely not his thing.  
Future Ryan must have figured out what he was thinking about staring at him.  
"People change," he said, shrugging. "You'll see."  
Ryan didn't know if he wanted to. Things were fine like this and change was always scary and something Ryan tried to avoid.  
"Why are you here?" Ryan decided to ask in the end.  
Future Ryan sighed and scratched a place behind his ear.  
"I'm not too sure myself," he said in the end and Ryan couldn't help but feel a little disappointed.  
Then, he realized if Future Ryan wasn't going to give him any wise advice from the future or whatever, he might as well ask about it. About what happens to him, the band, the guys, Brendon. Most importantly Brendon. Ryan hoped they were still together in the future. He didn't show it much, but he really cared about Brendon and he's never loved anyone in his life with such intensity. Even when he was being an annoying goofball, which was most of the time. Especially then, actually.  
"Do we do it?" He asked suddenly. "The band. Do we make it?"  
Future Ryan smiled sadly again.  
"Yeah. You- we make it. Believe in the record, it's really good," he said and Ryan nodded, remembering his words.  
He felt a bit better. He loved their band and he'd do anything for it. Making it out there was one of his biggest dreams and Future Ryan's words put a lot of his worries at ease.  
"What about Spencer? And Brent?" Ryan wondered.  
Future Ryan was silent for a bit, looking thoughtful. Ryan started dreading the answer and wishing he hadn't asked.  
"Things change. Over the years. It's hard to find a band who keeps its original members for 10 years," he explained. "But I think they're happy. I haven't heard from Brent in ages though. Almost 10 years," he eyed Ryan carefully and then continued "But Spencer has a bumpy road ahead of him. He's okay now, though."  
Ryan remained silent for a few seconds. He was glad Spencer was okay now but the 'bumpy road' could mean anything. Spencer may look tough but he was actually more like a teddy bear. Ryan was worried about Spencer.  
"And you?" Ryan asked, almost whispering the words.  
"I did something stupid," Future Ryan sighed "Something I thought was right in the heap of the moment because I was angry and sad but I regretted it later. Christ, it's been years and I still regret it. It's- I can't move on," he explained and Ryan's heart started beating faster again. What does he do? Can he avoid it? Well, if Future Ryan is here then it already happened and it's going to happen to him no matter what.  
Did it have something to do with the band? Or maybe Brendon. He glanced at the bedroom door where Brendon was still asleep and blissfully oblivious to any of this.  
Future Ryan followed his gaze.  
"Is he in there?" He asked quietly.  
Ryan nodded, averting his gaze back to his future self.  
"Are you not gonna ask about him?" Future Ryan questioned.  
Ryan thought for a bit. If he did, the answer could either make him happy and more certain or... well, ruin everything. Ryan couldn't imagine him and Brendon not being happy together and if this future him claimed they weren't... Ryan didn't know how he'd react. And he didn't want to find out. Yet, he was so curious.  
In the end, he shook his head. He didn't want to know, didn't want to risk it.  
He bit his lip. He wanted to know. God, he so wanted to know. He fiddled with the end of his shirt for a bit until sighing and giving in.  
"Okay, tell me," he said "I want to know."  
Future Ryan gave him a careful look.  
"Are you sure?" He asked and Ryan hesitated for a bit but nodded in the end.  
Future Ryan shrugged and got up, gesturing to Ryan to follow him. They walked to the bathroom door, which confused the hell out of Ryan. But, when Future Ryan opened the bathroom door, he didn't see their dirty sink. There was grass and the sky and open space and Ryan blinked in surprise and disbelief. Future Ryan stepped into the meadow and Ryan followed. He looked around and realized where he was- this was someone's wedding. But whose? Ryan's? He looked up to Future Ryan expecting an explanation but he didn't say anything. They walked closer to the where the wedding was taking place and Ryan was a bit worried they'd get shouted at because they were hardly wearing wedding-appropriate clothes. But, no one even seemed to notice them.  
"They can't see us," Future Ryan informed him and Ryan nodded. Obviously. He's seen enough movies with this theme, he should have known.  
There was a man standing at the aisle and when Ryan got close enough to see who it is, his heart jumped. He looked different, he was older and his skin was clearer and he had a different haircut but it was him, no doubt.  
"Brendon!" Ryan breathed out. But who was he marrying?  
There was a split moment of panic in which Ryan scanned over the people in the audience. When he was sure some other older version of himself wasn't there, he let out a sigh of relief. This was probably- god, it was their wedding. Does that mean gay marriage was legalized? Ryan smiled and diverted his gaze the front because the bridal music started and he was about to see the probably happiest version of himself he'd ever see.  
But... the person walking down the aisle now wasn't Ryan. It wasn't even a guy! Ryan's heart sank as he watched a pretty, smiling woman walk over to Brendon. She had nice, black hair and she was really, really beautiful and Brendon looked at her with so much love and adoration and- Ryan couldn't take it. He snapped his head at Future Ryan, his eyes filling up with tears.  
"That's Sarah," Future Ryan said. "This is their wedding. Brendon meets her when you record your second album."  
Ryan couldn't believe it. His eyes were full of tears and his chest hurt and he couldn't breathe right.  
"Why aren't we here?" Ryan asked, his voice shaky. "In the audience, at least?"  
"We weren't invited," Future Ryan said simply.  
"What?" Ryan felt like someone stabbed him. This wasn't what was supposed to happen. This wasn't- it wasn't right.  
Future Brendon leaned over and kissed Sarah and Ryan couldn't stand the sight of it.  
"No!" He exclaimed. "No," He added more quietly and the tears in his eyes started streaming down his face. He felt Future Ryan's hand on his back and he pulled him into a hug. Usually, he wouldn't cry in front of anyone but technically, he was alone with only himself so he just gave in.  
"I know, I know" Future Ryan said comfortingly as Ryan sobbed into his cheat. "I know"  
Ryan shouldn't have asked. He didn't want to know this. He wished he didn't find this out. His head was spinning and he wasn't sure what he felt anymore. Anger? Sadness? Disbelief? A cruel mixture of all of those things?  
When Ryan pulled back from the hug, he wasn't at the wedding anymore. His chest still hurt but he wiped the tears off his face and ignored the new ones stinging in his eyes. He wasn't going to cry anymore. He looked around the room they were in and realized it was a set. A movie set? No, a music video set. There were people standing in front of the cameras with instruments and tired faces. Ryan recognized the one in the front. It was another Ryan from the future but this one looked younger than the one standing next to Ryan. His hair was longer and it was wavy and he was wearing some sort of suit. The floor and the wall behind them had arrows all over it and Ryan was going to be honest- they looked like the Beatles. A lot.  
"What's this?" he asked Future Ryan next to him.  
"The Young Veins. Our band. It doesn't last," he said sadly.  
There was some things going on on the set, Ryan assumed it was just regular music video set things but he didn't know- he's never filmed a music video before. Well, not yet, at least. But Future Ryan said they make it so he supposed he'll film music videos in the future.  
"What year is this?" he asked.  
"Uh, 2010," Future Ryan said. "We got together at 2009. Released 1 album. Broke up in 2010."  
"Oh," Ryan said with a twist in his stomach. That wasn't too far away. "Does Panic... break up before that?" he asks uncertainly but Future Ryan shakes his head.  
"No. You quit," Future Ryan said and Ryan felt like there was an iceberg in his stomach. He quits? No, there's no way! He loves his band! "You and Jon Walker. He's, uh, he's the bassist you get after you guys kick Brent out after you release the first album. You guys then leave the band and you leave Brendon too and form this. And you don't really- I haven't moved on. From Brendon."  
Then, Ryan got angry. This is bullshit! he thought. Future Ryan was full of it. This was all some sort of a sick joke. This was all too unlikely to happen. Brendon getting married to some girl, Ryan not being even invited to their wedding, the band kicking Brent out, Ryan leaving the most important thing in his life right now besides Brendon who he, apparently, also leaves but then regrets it. It was all bullshit. It couldn't be real. Ryan would never do this!  
But Future Ryan wasn't done yet. It seemed like he was getting angry as well.  
"Honestly, now that I think of it, maybe it's good that this happened. Or that it's going to happen, whatever. You don't deserve Brendon or to even be over Brendon. In the end we all get what we deserve," he said in a bitter tone and turned to his younger self. "God, I don't know what he even saw in you to begin with. You've never deserved him. You're cold and detached and even if you really do feel the same as he feels about you, you never show it. You've got too many problems and too much shit going on in your fucked up head and you're not a fucking good person and Brendon deserves so much better and guess what? In the end he gets it! He gets what he deserves and you get it to! You get to loathe yourself and wish you made better choices and you wish you were a better person and that you treated Brendon better. But you don't get a chance to make it right because there's no such thing in real life! You only fuck things up and hurt everyone around you including yourself."  
"Fuck you," Ryan choked out. "Fuck you. This isn't real. You're just fucking with me. You aren't me! That isn't me either!" he pointed over at the Ryan who was filming the music video. "I'm not- you're wrong! You did all that shit, not me! Stop saying it's me, it's you! This is bullshit! Fuck you!"  
"It's not bullshit! It's what happens, what you do in the future and what I already did. "  
"It's not," Ryan said determinedly. "It might have happened to you, but it's not going to happen to me. I'm not going to do it."  
"But you are," Future Ryan pressed on. "You already did. Because I am you and I did it! Why don't you get it? I wouldn't be standing here now with all my bad choices and regrets if you don't do them! Which means you will do them! Because they already happened!"  
"Fuck you, they didn't!" Ryan wasn't listening. Future Ryan's words made sense but Ryan didn't care. He was going to do things differently. He wasn't going to live this pathetic Future Ryan's life.  
He thought about the apartment he and Brendon lived in. He thought about Brendon's warm body next to his and the even sound of his breathing. He wished he never got up for a glass of water. He just wanted to be home, in bed, next to Brendon.  
"I want to go home," he mumbled. "And I want you to go away. I just want to go home."  
He felt the tears stinging his eyes again but he ignored them and looked at Future Ryan viciously. He just wanted to be taken back home.  
"Whatever," Future Ryan gave in and walked over to the door of the set. He opened them and Ryan could see his living room there, waiting for him. He hurried inside without even glancing back at the two Ryan's of the future and he heard the door close behind him.  
That wasn't his life.  
He inhaled and exhaled deeply a couple of times to calm himself down. He was home. There was no one in the apartment except him and Brendon. He went to their bedroom and crawled back under the covers, putting Brendon's warm arm over his body again and tangling their legs together. Brendon made a quiet, happy noise and shuffled closer to Ryan.  
Ryan smiled at him and closed his eyes, finally going to sleep.

***  
"Ryan. Ryan, wake up," someone whispered and poked Ryan's cheek.  
Ryan made a disapproving noise before opening his eyes and seeing Brendon's face inches from his.  
"Good morning," Brendon said and smiled.  
"Hey," Ryan replied and smiled back.  
"I'm gonna go make some coffee," Brendon waggled his eyebrows, "and you get your pretty butt out of bed."  
"Okay."  
Brendon got out of bed and stumbled into the kitchen. Ryan remained lying for a couple of seconds, staring at the ceiling.  
Something happened last night.  
He thought really hard but he couldn't remember more than a few things that happened. He woke up for a glass of water and there was another one of him in the living room. A future version of him. Ryan had a tough time remembering what happened from there on. He knew Future Ryan told him something, showed him something too. Something about his future but he couldn't remember what. He knew they went somewhere and he asked a lot of questions and Future Ryan answered everything but he couldn't remember what it was. He had nothing. He couldn't even remember if the things in the future were good or bad. Was he sad? Happy? He really couldn't remember. It was so strange. He knew he saw himself in the future, he knew he's been told about the events in his future but it seemed as if they just evaporated from his brain. Ryan wanted to remember. It's not every night you get to see and talk to yourself in the future.  
Maybe it was all a dream, after all. It didn't really feel like it though. So why didn't he remember anything then?  
He decided to shrug it off. Maybe it was better this way. Maybe it's better that he doesn't remember. He got up from bed and pulled on a pair of pants.  
When he came into the main room, Brendon flashed him a smile as he fixed up the coffee.  
"I had the strangest dream yesterday," Ryan mused.  
"Really?" Brendon raised his eyebrows. "What about?"  
"I dreamt a me from the future came to our living room. He like, told me shit about the future and I think he took me to the future too. But I don't remember anything he's told or showed me."  
"That's so cool!" Brendon's eyes went wide. "Too bad you don't remember anything though. Imagine if it was real. Wouldn't that be awesome? I wish I could talk to my future self. I wonder if he's hotter than me now..."  
Ryan watched Brendon get all excited and he faintly remembered thinking Brendon would react like this in the dream too. Maybe that was how it worked? Maybe he would only remember what he's been told happens in the future when it already happened?  
"Hey Ryan, is this your gum?" Brendon asked after a while, pointing at the bubble gum on the table.  
"Huh?" Ryan frowned. He didn't own any gum. He looked at the box on the table and his heart dropped.  
It was Future Ryan's gum. The one he took out of his pocket before he found his ID. He never put it back.  
"Uh, yeah," he said, distressed, and put it in his pocket. Technically, it was his gum.  
"Huh, I didn't know they had that flavor," Brendon said as he poured the hot water in the mugs.  
Ryan sat on the couch and took out the little box. They didn't have that flavor, he realized. Not for at least 10 more years.  
So it was real. He really did meet himself from the future last night.  
He smiled to himself and put the gum back in his pocket.


End file.
